The order these episodes have been placed in is based
on airing order and educated guess.
301 the feminizer
Kids: Samantha, Mark, brother. Cast Folk: Micki, Sid, Ivan. Songs: "If You Can't Beat 'Em" (VB) "Not the Same Woman" Non Plot: Michael Bolton finds his real talent. And there's a heart-warming
discussion about beans. Implied Moral: If it looks like candy, eat it.
302 the cruds and the gimps
Kids: Adam. Cast folk: Ivan. Songs: "Light in the Window" "All We've Ever Known" Non Plot: Characters of a classic painting offer a lovely narrative
of the status of social progress. Implied Moral: Think twice before you rob someone, you never know where
they're packing heat.
303 the buttcracker
Kids: Matt and Christina. Cast folk: Ivan and Amy. Songs: "From Roundhouse To Your House" "World Be Still" Non Plot: Dad has a flashback to childhood of being traumatized over
a cold toilet seat. Implied Moral: Fruitcake has many uses.
304 beaver & butt-face
Kids: Amy, Five, Lance, Roxanne, and Joe. Cast folk: Amy, Julene, Muñoz, Micki, and Ivan. Songs: "If He Only Knew Me" "Bottom" (VB) Non Plot: Butter: the ultimate tool in wicked sabotage. Implied Moral: If you can't get the attentions of the popular guy you
have a crush on, then sing a song about how unfair that is and totally
ignore the cute, obtainable boy that is crazy about you.
305 lame
Kids: Kevin, Chucky, and Max Feibelman. Cast folk: Ivan, Seymour, and Mark. Songs: "Have A Little Faith" "I Believe In You" Non Plot: The family is nearly torn apart… over macaroni and
cheese. (But that's understandable, because it's the kind with powdered
cheese.) Implied Moral: When all else fails, there's always Whitney Houston.
306 david's mom/the big head
Kids: Ned, Ray, and Fawn. Cast folk: Ivan, Sid, and Micki. Songs: "Go Off" (VB) "I Want To Be A Success" "Trying
To Reach You" Non Plot: There is an audition for groupies. Somehow, I was overlooked
for this position. Implied Moral: Don't ditch your friend until AFTER the product you're
endorsing is approved for market.
307 the irish jig
Kids: Chris and Alex. Cast folk: Amy and Ivan. Songs: "Snaps" (VB) "Money" Non Plot: The family buys a box of dirt. Dancing and singing ensues. Implied Moral: The moral is… wait, are you trying to say I'm
fat?
308 intolerance
Kids: Brian and Tabitha. Cast folk: Ivan and Amy. Songs: "Language of Love" Non Plot: A fine, cultural evening is had… at the expense of
puppy. Implied Moral: Oblivians are weird, go with the horse chick.
309 wheel of fortune cookie
Kids: "boy's name" "girl" and "Grandma." Cast folk: Ivan, Amy and Julene. Songs: "Come On Back" (VB) "Geriatric Strut" Non Plot: Wilson Phillips make a comeback. Ivan tries to flee. Implied Moral: Granny prefers the cat's butt.
310 puberty
Kids: Reggie, Nancy, Mo and Sheila. Cast folk: Sid, Amy, Ivan and Micki. Songs: "Puberty" "For You" Non Plot: These are the love chronicles of Margarita Renee Josephine
Stubblefield - oh and a sandwich. Implied Moral: Despite popular belief, the statement, "I think
it's cute when you pick your butt" is not a sign of pending break-up.
311 elvis' laundry
Kids: Gerald, Anne and Pete. Cast folk: Ivan, Amy and Mark. Songs: "The Word is Out" (VB) "Never Been a Fried of
Elvis" "Read My Heart Outloud" Non Plot: I'm just wondering how a mole could be shaped like Barry
Manilow. Implied Moral: Coaches like to be called "sweet cheeks."
312 empty v
Kids: Sheila. Cast folk: Amy. Songs: "I'm Breaking Out" "Just A Dream" "Nobody
Like You" (VB) Non Plot: The world becomes safe for skinny little geeks with pokey-out
ears. Implied Moral: Spam is not tasteless with a little mustard.
313 back where we belong part 2
Kids: Andy and sister. Cast folk: Ivan and Amy. Songs: "Guilt Trip" "The Joke Is On You" (VB) Non Plot: Andy is in a self proclaimed existential funk. Implied Moral: "Silly Rabbi! Cruel Trix are for kids!"
314 twister
Kids: Dorothy, Brian Less, Dan Steely and Lionel. Cast folk: Amy, Sid, Ivan and Mark. Songs: "I'm Coming Home" Non Plot: Dad spends quality time with a milk carton. Implied Moral: It's possible that Rebel Entertainment has an unhealthy
fascination with Aaron Spelling.
315 deception
Kids: Steve, Adam, Buddy, Charlie, Erinn and Dumb Kid. Cast folk: Ivan, Mark, Seymour, Muñoz, Micki and Sid. Songs: "He's a Liar" (VB) "I Still Believe In You" Non Plot: The cast, once again, discuss their feelings for New Kids
on the Block. Dumb Kid clues us in to his fascination with desert plant
life. Implied Moral: It's bad to inhale chalk dust.